On Ting, HoneyBee and Fatherhood

          The inexorable movement of the seasons has been good, for it has brought about conditions which are more than adequate. Gone are the dog days of summer. There is no more lazing about on the stone floor or seeking shelter from the heat in the leafy underbrush of Kathy's garden. Now is the time for long walks in the cool autumn air, morning patrols in the dark and nights spent beneath open windows.
          Yet Ting, our beloved Golden Retriever, is no longer alone. His every movement is tracked by a relative newcomer. Someone whose step may be more spritely, but lacks his knowledge, wisdom and sheer majesty. Like many men, I am a bit of a sucker for a pretty girl and our HoneyBee is no exception. Her pleasant smile and deep, dark eyes turn heads wherever we take her. To us, she is a puppy learning how our family works. She can tug on the boys pajamas before breakfast, but must leave them alone as they dress for school. She can play with the cats, as long as she does so gently. And, best of all, she can spend time on our bed, nuzzling herself between Kathy and me while she falls fast asleep. 
          Ting, for god or I'll, must bear the brunt of HoneyBee's adolescence. He is the one who rarely gets a moment of peace. His daily routines have been shattered, there are no more quiet meals or mornings together on the couch, his yard has been excavated and his walks have taken on a different tone. Yet, through it all, he has retained patience, grace and dignity. He has not only accepted his little sister, but is teaching her the ways of the world. I often wish that I were as tolerant of the boys as Ting is with HoneyBee. I may not get my ears chewed, but I often feel as if I cannot get out from underneath them. I suppose that this is where the lesson lies. 
          Does Ting understand that his sister will outgrow her youthful indiscretions? Is it possible that he realizes that she will mature with time? All in all, Ting does a betterr job managing HoneyBee than I do our boys. It shows that, sometimes, you can learn a lot from a dog.

Quo Fata Ferunt!

On "Special Needs"

I am ashamed.

It is quiet here. We don't get much quiet in our home, so we don't really know what to do with it. Kathy and Daniel sleep peacefully. Our animals roam the house searching for food or a warm shaft of sunlight to sleep in.

David is away at camp. A camp for kids with "Special Needs," and I am ashamed.

A married man should always listen to his wife, especially when they are in love; yet, I did not. Early on, Kathy said that something about David wasn't quite right. I should have listened, but I didn't. There is no reason to recount the laundry list of warning sings, the stupid "mileposts" missed, or lack of normalcy in David's life. For Kathy and I, it has been ten years of frustrations, profound sadness and loss of sleep.

Yes, I berated David when he was five years old. I actually yelled at him for not participating on his soccer team. Had I only listened to Kathy, I would have never put him, or her, through such misery.

I refused to believe that this handsome little boy could be anything but perfect. He was, after all, my first born son. I envisioned all the things Dad's want for their boys. Soccer in the fall, lacrosse in the spring. Terrifying us with feats of pure danger on a bike or skateboard. Maybe hockey. Maybe crew. In short, I wanted him to have all the advantages that a city kid (like me) did not. Friendships forged on fields of play. Late nights chasing fireflys. But this was not to be.

David plays in ways other kids don't. There are no sports. David protects our home from alien invaders (which could come in handy). David studies the nuances of battles fought long ago and applies his mind's lessons to the present day wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. David is lights years away, but constantly underfoot. He is lost in his own world, but dominates ours in a way that defies explanation.

Yet, David is loved. Make that adored. Kathy and I have turned our lives inside out for this boy. Our goal is that, when the time comes, he leaves our home ready to face the challenges of an unforgiving world. David is well on his way.

We are blessed to be able to send David to a fantastic school and a great summer camp. Both are for kids with "Special Needs."

There's an old saying on the streets of the city that goes something like this: "Don't hate the player. Hate the game." I love my boy, but I sure do hate "Special Needs."

Quo Fata Ferunt!

On Marriage....

It's not yet 5am, but I have been up for hours. This is my time for reflection, reading and spending time with Ting (our beloved Golden Retriever). Kathy and the boys are sleeping soundly, providing the type of quiet that I appreciate above all else as it brings a sense of satisfaction I had never known.
There is no question that every joy, every accomplishment and every moment of true love I have ever known can be traced back to the woman who chose to partner with me all those years ago.
I am indeed a most fortunate man.

There is no need, at this point, to dwell on my past. That is the job of tabloid reporters and would-be biographers. I turn down more interview requests than I care to think about. People want, and in many cases need, to know my story. Yet, my story really only started when I met Kathy.
Kathy, you see, is the one who showed me how to be more than I thought I could be. She is the one who helped me see beyond the shades of black and white, to see the colors that make up the world we live in. She is the one who gave me the most precious gifts a man can know.
How then, did this come about? Does it matter? Of course our courtship was filled with incidents involving hand guns, strippers and the occasional bar fight. Who doesn't have moments of excitement when a relationship is young, yet our relationship improves with each passing day. How is this possible?
Our relationship is built upon a foundation of trust, honesty and respect. Without those fundamental building blocks, no man (or woman) should enter into marriage.
Please do not take this missive to think that we are immune from the issues which can plague, or kill, a marriage. Hardly! From the boys driving us nuts, to the aging of our parents, to heated discussions on the merits of putting away laundry, Kathy and I (like you) have them all. What makes us different is how we manage ourselves and each other.
To start with, no decision can be made without considering the greater good. Yes, David and Daniel are in private schools and Kathy and I may spend our golden years under a highway overpass eating cat food to survive. Yet, we know that our primary job is to see our chuckleheads grow up to be gentlemen and productive members of society. The greater good.
We've also long ago checked our egos. They are a burden, not worth the effort of maintaining. Through our marriage, we've come to know that we are not measured by money in the bank, by corporate our community achievement. No, we are measured by the swift passage of time in each other's company or in those brief moments of familial tranquility.
Lastly, I could never emphasize the importance of patience. Kathy is long suffering, yet gracious. I can only compliment her in this respect. And so, perhaps, this may be the most important facet of this gem we call marriage. You must compliment your spouse. Now, some of my former producers may get hung up here. I can only encourage you to utilize a dictionary.
We have made it through the first ten years and we look forward to all the great times and challenges ahead. We dream of sleep away camp, prep school, college and then (hopefully) our growing old together. Until then, Quo fata ferunt!

On Heaven....

As someone well versed in religion, philosophy and the intricate practices of convertible arbitrage, I have often been asked for my thoughts and opinions on life after death. Obviously, there is good reason for me to write for I have first hand experience in the matter. It is important to note that life after death takes many forms. For President Nixon, my political and gambling mentor, there was life after political death. For others life may have taken place after the death of a relationship or upon the acceptance of religious faith. Yet, in my case, life after death (Heaven - if you will) will look something like this....

It is early evening in late May. The air is beginning to cool, yet the soft grass I lay upon retains the warmth of the afternoon sun. The few clouds that dot the sky are starting to catch the rich glow of the distant setting sun. I am tired, but not sleepy. I am thirsty and hungry but seek no refreshment. As I stare contentedly into this afternoon sky, I am assaulted by a burst of wet warmth in the form a large tongue and my nostrils are filled with a familiar smell. And there, as my field of vision changes, a familiar face comes into view. It is Ting, my beloved Golden Retriever.

His gentle countenance and imploring eyes beckon me to rise; and, as I do, I sense that he is not alone.

For now, it is early afternoon. I am on the great lawn at Lakeland Farm and the green grass is like a carpet beneath my bare feet. I see my parents home, but have no desire to go inside. I somehow know they are there, and I know they are watching me. I can sense Kathy and the boys, but I do not see or hear them.

With each passing moment, I come to realize that Ting and I are sharing this great, green expanse. We are soon joined by all the other dogs I have known and loved. There are tennis and lacrosse balls. There are dishes of cool water and patches shade beneath the trees.

They come into sight now, happy and breathless in anticipation of the joyous afternoon ahead.

There is Pendragon, the neighbor’s Gordon Setter, who would wait for me to return from Prep School. There is our Bull Mastiff, Bwana, at ease in his knowledge that his great size belies his gentle nature. They are all with me now, running and playing and fetching the balls that I throw. They bring them back to drop at my feet or keep them in their mouthes in the hope that I will come and give chase. Sam, an older female Black Lab comes into view. Just as in my childhood, she arrives with her tin pie plate in her teeth, secure in the knowledge that she will be fed and cared for. And, as I look down, I see my old lacrosse stick. It’s an STX with a weathered head and a basket which holds a white ball pocked with teeth marks. I pick it up feeling its light shape in my hand and the weight of the ball, and then I see Paget.

Paget was my Yellow Labrador Retriever who came into my life during college and whose soul became on with mine. We play again now, just as we did all those many years ago. Each throw of the ball going a little longer than the last. His breath becoming more labored with each retrieve. Yet now, just as when I was a young man and he was a pup, we do not stop. His greatest pleasure comes from the simplest of things and I realize that mine does to.

As my arms get weary, Paget lets me know that he is finished and lies down under the birch tree. I sit down in the middle of the great green lawn amongst these dogs and inhale the aroma of their scent mixed with Mother’s flowers and Lilac trees.

It is then, that Ting comes back into view. My beautiful, gentle dog sits beside me and nudges my arm over his head so that I am compelled to rub him behind his ear. I draw a deep breath and lie back. Now I realize that I am in Heaven. Like soldiers from distant times and battles, I know that will soon rise. I am on my own Elysian Field now and soon I will be joined by the virtuous, not in battle, but in play.

The air is beginning to cool, yet the soft grass I am laying on retains the warmth of the afternoon sun. The few clouds that dot the sky are starting to catch the rich glow of a distant setting sun. I am tired, but not sleepy. I am thirsty and hungry but seek no refreshment. As I stare contentedly into this afternoon sky, I am assaulted by a burst of wet warmth in the form a large tongue and my nostrils are filled with a familiar smell. And there, as my field of vision changes, a familiar face comes into view. It is Ting, my beloved Golden Retriever.

It has been said that Heaven (or Hell) is what you make of it. I do not know. What I can say with certainty is if you treat others as you wish to be treated, if share what you have, if you give of yourself then you too will find your own Heaven. It may be in this life or what comes after it. No matter what, I have my own ideas and hope that your are as nice as mine.

Quo fata ferunt!

On Saying Goodbye......

Life in the newsroom isn't easy. Everyone in the trade knows and accepts this.
The pressure to perform under difficult circumstances, day in and day out, can
take a toll on even the toughest of individuals. Yet, I have been privileged to
work with a group of people who epitomize "grace under pressure."

Yes, my days as an Assignment Desk Editor at WTNH have come to a close.
It is a bittersweet moment for me. I imagine, that I'll have the same feelings when
I drop David or Daniel off at prep school for the first time.
I have seen my associates grow personally and professionally. I have watched
the industry change in a fashion that not even the so-called smart crowd could
have foreseen. And I have changed as well.
The fires, homicides, and accidents will all soon fade. They will become the
distant memories of an old Assignment Desk Editor. The faces of my associates
who have moved on and (sad to say) passed on will also fade with the inexorable
passage of time.
So, I wish to give all who remain at WTNH my very best wishes. My hopes are
for your continued success and happiness.
And now, a few thoughts to share with you.
1) Remember that whether you're in the field or in the newsroom to treat each other
in the way you would want to be treated. I have failed in this, and hope that
you can learn from my mistakes.
2) Take care of each other. Look out the rearview mirror before opening the truck's
door and look up before deploying the mast.
3) You're a team! From the booth to the edit suite to the reporting team in the field to the
local sales associate. You're fortunes will rise and fall together.
4) Think about why you work in news. If you wanted a regular job, you'd have one.
5) Have fun! Embrace the fact that you love what you do. It's OK. It's an awesome
place to work.
On Monday, I'll start my newest adventure at Fox News Channel. I could not have
reached this level without acknowledging and giving thanks to my family at WTNH.
I shall never forget you.
Desk OUT!

On Faith and the NFL

A bitter, winter's rain pelts the car as I arrive home. Ting, our beloved Golden Retriever,
is waiting for me. The product of two centuries of successful breeding,
he sits on the porch where it's dry. Ting has faith. Faith that we will love and care for him.
Faith that we will, eventually, let him back inside.

Faith in a higher power is, to quote Martha Stewart, "a good thing." It helps us realize our
place in the universe and guides us through everyday activities and relationships.

Faith in a team which does battle in the National Football League is something quite different.

Each year, usually around June, I begin contemplating the upcoming football season. I am
not driven by my gambler's instincts or my disdain for fantasy league participation, I
am driven by my faith. You see, I have faith in the New York Jets.

Like many people, my faith began in childhood, for it was a time when I observed things that my
Father could not explain. A brash young quarterback, with long hair no less, turned football
and society on its collective ear. And, from the moment the Jets upset the Baltimore Colts in the Superbowl, I was
sold. I had faith that these unlikely heroes would replicate their moment of greatness.

Kathy understands my faith in the Jets. She knows I can be openly mocked and ridiculed without
fear of reprisal or reprimand. Week in and week out, in pre-season or post, Kathy sits with me to
cheer or jeer my beloved team. We have been together more than a decade now and she knows
my faith is rock solid.

Let's be clear, it is faith, not extremism. I wear Jets shirts and monitor news about my team, but
there is no face painting, no smack talk with random strangers and I have been known to play
with the boys and walk Ting during half time.

As Americans enter this blessed time of year, we of good faith recognize one another. My friends whose
hopes and dreams have been dashed are given an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on. Whether
they are fans of the Giants, the Redskins or even the Steelers, they are all equal for they all have
faith.

The NFL tests our faith, pure and simple.

My faith will, once again, be tested. The test takes place in Cincinnati. Yet, I believe that my
New York Jets will be victorious and march on towards the Superbowl and destiny!

And, should they fail, there is always next year.

Quo fata ferunt!

The Shift Before Christmas

'Twas the shift before Christmas and all through the station,
not a creature was stirring, nor graphics or animation.

The rundowns were set in the prompters with care, in hopes that an anchor soon would be there.

Young producers were napping, asleep in their chairs, dreaming of Emmys that would one day be theirs.

With my e-p on vacation and I at "The Desk," I sat down to my consoles to begin the day's tests.
When up from the scanners their arose such a clatter, that I woke from my stupor to hear what was the matter.

Away from "The Desk," I flew like a flash; I ran towards the door, it was truly a dash!

Halogen lights bathed the parking lot below, which was covered in ice, from non-shoveled snow.
When what in my sleep deprived eyes did appear, but a miniature sat-truck, and 8-weary reindeer,
With a gnarly old driver, so bitter (yet quick), I went with my gut that it must be St. Nick!

More rapid than eagles his curses they came, but because kids may read this, I’ll list them by name.
"Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer!, Prancer & Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donder and Blitzen!

To the tops of the sat-dishes, make the engineers crawl!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!

As news can "break" in the blink of an eye, like making his page, he took to the sky!

So up to the roof with his reindeer he flew, with a sled full of toys and some good advice to.

And inside the studio, the anchors aloof, soon heard the noise of each tiny hoof.

And back at "The Desk" I had just made some calls when in came St. Nick to deck our news halls.
He was clad in station gear, from his head to his feet, and his clothes were all filthy from years on the street.

The bundle of toys that he had on his back could be considered a hazard, or bring heart attack!
His eyes, oh how bloodshot! His crow's feet how deep! He slogged into the newsroom, just desperate for sleep!

His mouth was down turned and I detected a frown, but his demeanor was touching I knew this was no clown.

And I laughed, when I saw him, in spite of myself, for I knew not to anger this gnarly old elf!

The butt of a cig was clenched in his teeth and the aroma of fast food made the image complete.

A grunt from his mouth and a weary nod from his head soon let me know I had nothing to dread.

He gave me a look and started his work and said, "Just manage that desk and don't be a jerk!"

I stood very still, as if on a mission, then he gave some advice. Now you take a listen:
"Be kind to each other, give love and respect.

And remember your newsies are human beings too, that they tire, have bad days and even catch the flu.

So treat all with care and keep in mind this, for Christmas is one day, but I promise you this.... the spirits inside you!

This you can't miss!"

Then pinching his cig and wiping his nose, up to the roof and his sat-truck he rose!

He took down the dish, he lowered the mast, he fired it up and was off in a flash!

But I heard him yell, as he drove out of sight.....

"Happy Christmas Dear Newsies! And to all a good-night."